The fact of the matter is that a script becoming funny is the last thing that happens in the writing process. Think of the situations that are going to happen in this episode before you worry about writing the dialogue or making it funny. My very general suggestion is to plan out the episode as a treatment or just a basic summary first. You choose to address them however you see fit, or not address them at all. There are all just things that I'm noticing. I think Frank speaks 5 times in the second act. He just sits there and gets excited about Mac's story and suggests a dick towel. Charlie has like 14 lines of dialogue after the murder mystery starts. There's also nothing for almost half the cast to do in this episode. Every episode of Sunny that I can think of (and pretty much every sitcom episode I can think of, to be fair) has an A plot and a B plot that we go back and forth between until they intersect in the end. We follow the same characters in the same place the whole time. If Dee playing Martha is gonna matter later, probably best to set that up earlier rather than go back and say it's been Dee the whole time.Īlright, all in all, this isn't bad. On page 19 you have a description that probably should appear on page 17. For the record, in the two example scripts I pulled up there were 8 scenes and 7 scenes in Act 1 respectively. Sitting in the living room to read the card.ĭescribing the bodies and answering questions.Ĩ0's re-enactment montage. I'm on page 18/25 and so far there's been 5 scenes. 25 pages seems like it's going to be way short. Sure enough, the first is 37 pages long and the second is 38 pages long. To confirm this suspicion I dug around to see if I could find Sunny scripts and found 2 (S2E1 and S2E2). I can't imagine pages 9-11 taking more than 50 seconds to happen on screen. I feel like 25 pages at the pace of the dialogue of Sunny is only going to be like 13 minutes of screen time. I feel like Sunny probably doesn't follow the 1 script page to 1 screen-minute rule of thumb. There's the obvious question of when they decided to play the game and why (again, why are they here? They seem to have just wandered into this place with nothing to do but play a game which happened to be there). The scene at the start of act 1 calls a couple things into question. This doesn't feel like an important note, so you can probably disregard it, but if you're writing the spec in the hopes of demonstrating that you're able to match a show's style, it might be worth nothing that out of 134 episodes there's only ~20 Sunny episodes that don't have a character or "the gang" in the title. It's not so bad so far, but it might coming across more like a caricature of the character if it keeps going like this. To be fair, most of the characters have been, but Dennis has done the most talking so far and it's been all pretty much the same sentiment throughout. They're on a trip? Where are they? What's the occasion? Why are they here? I have no idea why they've left Philly. Okay, a couple things so far (page 8, end of Act 1). With that said, from someone who's wanted to write a Sunny spec for a long time but hasn't, I think you deserve to give yourself a pat on the back and leaving the group of 10 trillion people who've had an idea and joining the very few who've acted on it. I'll make a note and then indicate what page I was on when I had the thought/wrote the note. I'm gonna read through it and try to give you some honest thoughts and as I go. Hey! I think it's awesome that you wrote a Sunny spec.
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